Body Suspension vs. Kink
Body Suspension and Kink! I’m a hooker and sex-positive! I play in both these deviant worlds, not all people do. My experience has been that most people do NOT entertain both worlds. However, it is more likely you’ll find a body suspendee into kink than the inverse. If I may speculate: body suspension is considered extreme, and extremism is rare. But extreme is also a matter of relativity and accessibility. Body suspending is more niche than kink. Kink culture has witnessed a steady shift into mainstream popularity due to our evolving attitudes around sexual freedom and expression. Kink education and engagement has become increasingly accessible, whereas body suspension education has not kept pace with the former’s trajectory. Body suspending requires the aid of and access to people with extremely specialized knowledge and experience.
I wanted to address one prominent misconception concerning these two worlds. Something I hear often: body suspension and kink play are the same thing, right? Wrong.
These practices are not mutually exclusive; these practices are not the same. While our human experience lives in the gray, the devil lives in the details. So, this topic definitely deserves some attention.
This by no means represents a complete or comprehensive guide to all the differences or similarities.
THE BASICS - 101
First, a clear definition of each of these worlds and words needs to be established to fully grasp their nuances.
Kink
1: a twist or curl, as in a thread, rope, wire, or hair, caused by its doubling or bending upon itself.
With regards to human sexuality, the catch-all term “kink” was borne from the colloquial definition that being “bent” is nonconventional, and being “straight” is conventional. Isn’t that a clever play on words? “Kink” incorporates a broad scope of any non-normative sexual proclivities or practices that deviate from your traditional play. Examples include, but are not limited to: age-play, bondage, rope bondage, crossdressing, masochism, sadism, submission, dominance, wax play, impact play, role-play, asphyxiation, exhibitionism, voyeurism.
For the purposes of this article, I am using the terms’ kink’, ‘kinky,’ or ‘kink-minded’ to refer to the kinks/fetishes that engage pain. I.e., masochism, sadism, impact play, etc.
Body Suspension
1: the act of rigging a human body to hang from implements that have been placed through temporary perforations in the skin.
Body suspension is classified as an extreme form of body modification. Body modification is anything that temporarily or permanently alters your natural physical appearance. Piercings, tattoos, cosmetic surgery, and even extreme forms of bodybuilding fall under the body modification umbrella. While some types of body modification could be considered ‘kinky’ or sexualized, body suspension, culturally and historically, has never been sexual.
One exists BECAUSE of pain; one exists DESPITE pain.
Many people have a volatile relationship with pain. Understandably so. And this is where our tunnel vision begins. There seems to be a universal disconnect in comprehending something involving pain must, therefore, be ABOUT pain. Those are not mutually exclusive. It’s more involved than simple semantics. Not all pain is created equal. Change your perspective on pain, you change your relationship with it, and consequentially, your experience of it.
The sphere of understanding is rooted in relatability. Most people attribute how they relate to experience as the defacto way to relate. It’s automatic. Often, when kinky people learn about my hooking (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), there is an assumption that I get sexual gratification from the pain of suspending. Let me kill this notion now - I do not receive sexual pleasure from body suspension. And then the tone of the conversation changes from a smirk to a vacant stare.
But body suspension hurts, right? And you’re also a masochist - so you must get something sexual out of it because you get that from other painful experiences? 1 + 1 = 2? Right?! Well, human experience tends to be more nuanced than that.
This is where the element of relatability unconsciously furthers our tunnel vision concerning pain. People WANT to understand and relate to the experiences of those around them. As social animals, it’s basic humanity. You are what you know. We can only bring our own understanding to the table. So, back to my example: since kink-minded people equate pain to sexual pleasure - all pain must equal sexual pleasure. There is a logical fallacy, a false-consensus effect, at play with that type of deduction. The bounds of our own experience limit our ability to relate to new experiences. It’s not impossible but represents a mental hiccup in our logic to be conscious of.
What is the experience of body suspension? Body suspension is cathartic, mental fortitude epitomized, mindfulness. You are using your physical body to transcend your mind. The body is just a vehicle with which to elevate. It’s a type of meditation. Perhaps, a very niche or unusual one, but meditative nonetheless.
What is the experience of kink? Ready for a paradox? I could copy and paste the exact verbiage from the above paragraph and replace the word “Suspension” with “Kink.” It would accurately describe my kink experiences.
So, what sets these two seemingly identical practices apart? Intention. When you set the intention, you determine the experience.
I never enter into a body suspension intending to receive sexual pleasure, nor has it ever been an unintended outcome in any of my previous suspensions. In contrast, kink is any act or practice inherently sexual by design. Before I ever engage in play, I am already anticipating what I intend to receive from that experience. My body and my mind are aligned and have set an expectation. And that expectation is sexual. Intention matters.
Don’t get too ‘bent’ out of shape, your sphere of understanding wasn’t that far off! Overlapping psychologies do exist between the two worlds. Circumstantially, both practices force you to identify and push boundaries. They are both personal growth on steroids. The proverbial ripping the bandage off. It becomes much harder to hide from yourself in the face of adverse pain. You endure physical and emotional pain to achieve physical and emotional pleasure and peace. Read that last sentence again. They exist as paradoxes. As I said, the devil lives in the details. But it matters - IMMENSELY. What a metaphysical mind-f*ck! Isn’t the breadth of human experience fascinating? Until next time!
Xoxo,
Shibari Barbie
Photography - Tom Martinez Jr.
Body Suspension Rigging - Embrace Chaos & Threshold Suspensions
Shibari - Embrace Chaos
