Tenets of Submission
Submission is a sport.
At the heart and heat of every relationship dynamic lies a power play. Who has it; Who does not. Humanity desires control. To be is to control. Our primal instincts dictate that to control is to survive. The magnificent machines that are our brains process millions of control commands per millisecond. We make decisions automatically. It is not something that needs to be taught - it’s a birthright.
Submission is defiance.
We are in open rebellion with ourselves. Submission must be learned; submissives must be mindful. It’s a discovery of emotional, psychological, and physical fortitude. We forget ourselves to lose ourselves. But there is no better way to find yourself than to first become lost.
Submission is bravery.
That temporary surrender of freedom to another’s whims, to subject mind, body, and soul to another’s mercy - is an act of bravery. Total domination: there is nothing more adrenaline-provoking. Total submission: there is nothing more erotically electrifying. This is edge play. Nothing in this realm lends itself to casual.
Submission is a gift.
Submission is the greatest gift one can receive. Submission is willingly gifted - not merely ‘taken’ as convention would have you believe. There is a mentality among some BDSM circles that submission is to be ‘taken’ and owed to a dominant simply because their title defines it. I beg to differ. That definition is an antiquated, superficial notion that lacks any understanding of the intellectual implications behind the power play dynamic. There is no levy owed simply because. Submission must be earned. A dominant’s position is heavily laden by responsibility. Dominants serve their submissives, just the same as subs serve their doms. They watch every move, every reaction, every gesticulation. The hitch of the breath, the hike of the ribcage, the shudder of the limbs. They are keeper and harbinger of pleasure; of pain, of safety; of sanity. Earn my trust; learn my consent. Show me you’re worthy of submission, prove to me you understand that gift comes with a hefty levy. Only then will I bend my knee.
Submission is a choice.
Some would consider women who identify as submissives as anti-feminist. I couldn’t disagree more. Let’s not forget - the fundamental tenants of BDSM: trust and consent. These are paramount. Without them - none of this can exist. I have a choice. I can choose to submit or not. And there is no greater gift than choice.
Submission is an admirable control learned through practice - like a sport. With practice comes conviction of mind and body. When mind and body align - we become present.
Xoxo,
Shibari Barbie
Photography: Mark Dektor
Shibari Rope Art: Matt Brawley
